Low Self-esteem
Self-worth describes the feelings and ideas we have about ourselves. With self-esteem, we describe the attitude with which we stand towards ourselves.
It depends on our self-esteem whether we experience ourselves as valuable and treat ourselves with kindness and appreciation or whether we consider ourselves rather worthless, devalue ourselves, treat ourselves harshly, and self-critically.
However, our self-worth is not only decisive for dealing with ourselves, but also for dealing with others. Many personal and interpersonal problems are ultimately related to low self-esteem and self-respect.
Healthy self-esteem, on the other hand, is the foundation for fulfilled interpersonal relationships and contacts, for one’s own joy of life and creativity, but above all for the ability to cope with crises and burdens.
How it affects people?
Low self-esteem can express itself very differently in people.
People with low self-esteem are often very vulnerable and react sensitively to real or perceived insults and criticism. Some people try to cover up their supposed weaknesses in some way.
Either they appear outwardly unapproachable and arrogant or they are very sociable, get on well with everyone and get along well with everyone.
In both cases, they may still feel lonely and empty because they are not really in touch with themselves or with others. Others always try to do everything right and to please everybody, always being as kind and reserved as possible.
This self-sacrifice can go so far that it leads to complete physical or mental exhaustion. The needs of others are then considered more important than one’s own. Others, on the other hand, behave insecurely and shyly and tend to withdraw because they do not consider themselves lovable or do not want to impose themselves on others.
Sometimes our self-esteem can be so deeply hurt that it is hardly possible for us to discover valuable sides of ourselves and to realize that other people love and need us.
What If You Can Quit the low-self-esteem feeling and Live the Life You Want?
If our self-esteem is permanently reduced, people react with withdrawal, resignation, in some cases even with self-damaging behavior and suicidal thoughts.
Others build up a wall of distrust and close themselves off completely to others. They experience feelings of loneliness and inner emptiness, feelings of guilt, or even frequent irritation and anger.
In addition, there can also be the fear that one’s own weaknesses and shortcomings will be discovered by others and that one could be despised and rejected by them.
If self-esteem problems are so profound, it can seem almost impossible for those affected to free themselves from the vicious circle by their own efforts.
Such problems are often associated with depression, chronic partnership problems, aggressiveness, alcohol or drug addiction, and social anxiety.
How does a permanently lowered self-esteem develop?
There are people who think negatively about themselves from the bottom up and experience themselves as worthless. There can be different circumstances that cause a person to develop a permanently negative image of himself.
Often lasting self-deprecation is connected to early negative experiences with the closest caregivers. The experience of traumatic events, in which feelings of extreme powerlessness and helplessness are experienced, can also permanently affect self-esteem.
These experiences become an inner image that influences our perception of both our abilities and characteristics as well as how others react to us.
The human brain tends to process information in such a way that ideas about the world and ourselves, once formed, are constantly confirmed. Therefore, people with low self-esteem create a vicious circle of negative self-observation and self-deprecation.
The expectation that one is unsuccessful, unlovable, or not competent is confirmed on the one hand by the fact that one’s own abilities, successes, and positive feedback are hardly noticed or played down by others.
People with low self-esteem tend to focus on what they cannot do, on their mistakes and weaknesses. On the other hand, they themselves unconsciously create conditions that maintain a negative self-image, e.g. by demanding more from themselves than they can afford or choosing interaction partners that confirm their low self-image.
Helpful approach
It is important to find access to a positive experience of the self. For this, it is necessary to break new or forgotten ways of thinking that help us to break out of the rigid inner images. It is essential that we learn to pay more attention to the positive aspects of our experience.
For many people, this is not such an easy task, but as with everything, one can start small.
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