Do you find it difficult to approach people, especially those you don’t know well?
Then you have come to the right place.
In this article, you are going to find out how to…
- strike up a conversation with people naturally;
- get rid of approach anxiety forever;
- have an informal conversation with complete strangers;
- always know what to say;
- turn unfamiliar faces into budding friendships
Let’s learn how to approach people with confidence.
Importance of being able to approach people
Everyone wants to have a rich social life and a wide circle of friends. We dream of having people who support and appreciate us.
On good days to have double the fun together and on bad days to share our sorrows. That’s what good friendship is all about. But it’s not always easy to have such friends. Especially if you find it hard to talk to people and you don’t initiate conversation at every turn, making new contacts can be a big challenge.
However, there have been plenty of opportunities to finally get active. People are everywhere. You can hardly avoid meeting them…..
If you can approach people…
- you can always and everywhere find friends;
- you feel more comfortable in social situations;
- you have interesting conversations;
- you meet people who can help you;
- it also has professional advantages.
Being able to find an approach to other people is useful.
Why is it so difficult to approach people?
Perhaps you have friends who are constantly meeting new people, and when you see this, you think: “I should be able to do this too”. But when you try it, great disappointment sets in. It doesn’t work. You don’t know what to say, and somehow you feel out of place.
Even though you meet a lot of people, you don’t make new acquaintances. You feel lonely and you don’t know what to do. It seems so simple to others, but it doesn’t work for you.
Why doesn’t it work for you?
In theory, it’s very easy to start a conversation. Logically, you know exactly what to do! Instead of acting, you start thinking and suddenly you get nervous. What should you do if the person you are about to talk with does not want to talk? And you are already caught in a whirlwind of thoughts that prevents you from taking action.
The reason is the fear of rejection. You are afraid of making a fool of yourself and of not being accepted. That’s perfectly normal. This fear is so deeply ingrained in us, so strong and so hard to overcome.
At least until you say to yourself very often that it is not a risk for you to approach strangers. But to do this, you must first know how to defend yourself against your fear.
Now you can learn the ways to do this.
The best situations to approach
There are situations where most people will be happy to be approached. And there are situations in which you are more likely to get a snide look when you address people. You should be aware of this social context.
In some situations social interaction is desirable, in others, it is not. This doesn’t mean that you can’t meet people in less social situations, but you should be more careful and understanding. And especially in the beginning, it is better to concentrate on easy situations.
Such situations are for example…
- Parties
- Seminars
- Festivals
- Language courses
- Art fairs
- Street festivals
- Museum exhibition
At any event where many people meet who have not met before, social exchange is desirable.
How to approach people with confidence
Let’s look at the 7 tips that can help you to start a conversation effortlessly.
1. Be prepared to fail and be rejected
There is nothing to be afraid of, rejection is a normal part of social life and is rarely personal. The other person doesn’t even really know you! There are many reasons why a person might not want to talk to you right now, and very few of them have anything to do with you.
In any case, if you don’t go up to them and say hello, you’ll never find out.
2. Think about what you want to achieve with it
The more precise you know what you want to achieve, the better! Take some time and create a plan that motivates and drives you. Think about the last time someone impressed you – what exactly made you have that image?
Little things can make huge differences in interpersonal communication. A slight smile, remembering a name, relaxed eye contact… Most of the time it happens subconsciously and we don’t even know what happened.
3. Approach someone with open, personable body language
Open body language is very important when approaching people. That’s why in conversations you should not only pay attention to the content but also the energy and emotions… These show up in the body language.
Approaching someone with open and personable body language works better than trying to do it with a world-class catchphrase but bored, closed-off body language. Body language is powerful. But how can you use it profitably?
The three most important aspects of it are:
- Posture. Your posture should be open and relaxed. When you are nervous, you pull your shoulders and arms together in front of your body. You should avoid this. Straighten up and loosen up.
- The smile. A smile makes you look happy and likeable. Smile as much as you can. As long as it doesn’t seem fake or played, a smile is always good.
- Eye contact. Direct eye contact is a way of showing that you are attentive and confident. When approaching people, it is best to make eye contact before you say anything. Dare to look others in the eye and don’t avoid their gaze.
Want to learn more about body language? You can find out in my article about how to develop confident body language. Enjoy reading!
4. Practice casually saying something nice to strangers
Practice casually saying something nice to strangers. No matter who, no matter where! To old people and young people, to women and men, individuals and groups. To as many as possible. Most people will be happy and say thank you.
5. Ask meaningful questions and listen carefully
Many people find it difficult to just start chatting with a complete stranger. The current situation is usually the best topic of conversation. Also, most people like to talk about themselves.
So ask meaningful questions and listen carefully. People love sincere interest!
6. Develop an interest in other people
If you want to become a communicative and social person, you need to develop a sincere interest in other people. Then the conversations will automatically get better.
In reality, these people are just as interesting and have just as complex a personality as you and your friends. Maybe you can even learn something from them. An interest in other people will bring you great conversations and valuable friendships.
7. Strengthen your self-esteem
Fear of not being accepted or rejected is the biggest challenge when trying to approach people. To get the fear completely under control, you have to strengthen your self-esteem.
If you are afraid of rejection, I would advise you to work on how you treat yourself. Don’t downplay it when you get a compliment and don’t blow it out of proportion when someone looks at you funny. You are not weird or inferior. You are okay the way you are.
Of course, you can develop and always learn new things, that’s great, but you are already a full human being.
The more you accept yourself, the less afraid you are of rejection or foreign opinions.
If you need help in working on your self-esteem, contact me your online wellness coach and we’ll find a way to work together on that.
